Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Date a girl who reads.


"You should date a girl who reads.
Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes, who has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she has found the book she wants. You see that weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a secondhand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow and worn.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas, for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry and in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who read understand that all things must come to end, but that you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.


You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.


Or better yet, date a girl who writes." 

Love.

Take love.  What in the world are we doing?!  If we are evolutionary beings, I guarantee that nature would have taken one look at love and ran away as fast as it could and never have looked back.  There are much easier and less disastrous ways to keep us attached to one person, if that was the ultimate goal.  Why would anyone in their right mind spend their entire existence fighting for something that 99% of the time only ends up crushing their bones to dust.  To anyone who has ever had a broken heart or unrequited love, they know this bone crushing agony oh too well.  And they must seriously question the statement, "It is better to have loved, than never to have loved at all" after such devastating events.  It must have been the person who's "never loved at all" that came up with such a thought.  But the mystery is that it wasn't at all.  For someone who's blessed enough to have truly loved, there is nothing greater.  It's the ultimate drug that awakens desires you never knew existed until you've tasted of it.  And once the dark places of your soul have even the smallest flickering light of love, the absence of it causes the walls of your being to tremble until the light once again is ignited . Which is why the light of love is blinding.  When we are filled with love we want to hope all things, believe all things and we certainly try to endure all things, no matter how dysfunctional or destructive.  Why?  Because we are created for the highest purpose to love and be loved.  If we have all the riches and pleasures of this world, if we travel and discover every hidden place, if we change and save all of humanity, but don't have love, it is worthless.  We gain nothing and we leave nothing behind.  We are emptier than when we started because we come to the end of the road and realize nothing else satisfies but love.  It is everything good and pure in this life.  But love never comes easy. What great thing ever has?  Though love feels like the miracle, what is even more the feat is sustaining it.  Love is a fight, and a well worthy one at that. But it is never kept without that fight.  There is a force against us and all of hell will try to keep us from it.  If you're not ready to fight, it is over before it ever began. Love never stood a chance. Your zeal and courage must be greater than your fears and then love will prevail.